8 of the Worst Fake Beards in Movies

Movies are expensive. It costs millions just to pay for a low-budget indie’s lighting, sets, cameras, and post-production. Big budget blockbusters can waste hundreds of millions without even thinking about it. And yet, for some reason, many movies still seem to only be allocating about $10 for the fake facial hair budget. Here are eight of the most obviously fake and silly looking fake beards and mustaches in TV and movies.

1. Joseph Fuqua as J.E.B. Stuart in Gettysburg

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In what is supposed to be a serious Civil War movie, this dude is wearing a brown Santa Claus beard.

2. Tom Berenger as Lt. Gen. James Longstreet in Gettysburg

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If you look up Gettysburg, half the articles are about this beard and how terrible it is. The movie cost 25 million dollars (in 1993 money) to make and all anyone remembers about it is this laughably bad beard.

3. Chia Hui Liu as Pai Mei in Kill Bill

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This looks like that cotton stuff you get at the Halloween store and then stretch it out to make it into spider webs.

4. Sam Worthington as Jim Fitzgerald in Manhunt

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I was watching this show Manhunt about the hunt for the Unabomber and LOLed when I saw this beard. Sam Worthington is (was?) a movie star. He was in a Terminator movie and Avatar. And now he’s fallen so low to wearing a laughably fake stick-on beard to let the audiences know his character lives in the woods. Also he may be looking right into camera in this screenshot I took. You're not supposed to do that, Sam.

5. Paul Rudd as Andy in Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later

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This little glued-on soul patch is destroying my will to live.

6. Matt Damon as Texas Ranger LaBoeuf in True Grit

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This looks like something you could buy for 99 cents in the costume section at Party City. How does it manage to be so bushy and wispy at the same time? Is this a terrible mustache, or is Matt Damon just completely unconvincing as a person who could pull off a mustache? Perhaps it’s both.

7. Adam Scott as Ted Hendricks in The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

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Whereas many of the other beards on this list made it here for being too scraggly, this beard is too perfect. It’s so uniform in color, so neat. Apparently the fakeness of it was intentional, as it was intended to look ridiculously perfect, but many movie reviewers just found it distracting and unsettling.

8. Michael J. Fox as Scott Howard in Teen Wolf

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This just doesn’t look real to me.

Have you seen any hilariously bad fake beards and mustaches in TV and movies that I missed? Tweet at me and let me know @erikaheidewald!